She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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