SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
