I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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