Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
ok first of all what the fuck
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
