No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
