Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
ttyl tear gas
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize