Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
