To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It's official drugs can't kill me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
