So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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