I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize