I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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