i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
