Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
