i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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