I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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