I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
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