my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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