Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
