Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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