You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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