I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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