There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
