Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
