Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize