Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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