you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
