Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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