i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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