Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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