one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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