do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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