i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
