In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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