"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
