therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize