Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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