Don't you send me to vm
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
