I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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