toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
