You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
