you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
