i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
