dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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