Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
