man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish i was in the wii world.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
