I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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