I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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