I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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