Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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