saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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