had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
