Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize