Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
