i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize