Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
