Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
