I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
