I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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