Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
