Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
