I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
