You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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