I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
