Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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