Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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