i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
